The Whooshing of Men-words to the Northwest Quadrant

I know this guy....I can't say his name though I don't think what he does is actually a crime
or anything....certainly not one I've ever heard of being prosecuted. Probably he can't even help himself. Anyway, this guy, who lives to the north of our town, is a large burly fellow, jovial and civic-minded. I like him a lot. But man-o-man, he is QUITE the talker. He's really got the Gift of Gab; he's the Sultan of Speech, the Titan of Talk. He could sell you a pair of shoe strings for your velcro shoes.

I've been noticing this odd phenomenon for quite awhile now, but in the last two weeks I've had FOUR conversations about it with several of my friends and one of my daughters. I've done some studying up on it too. What I'm talking about is the RATIO.....the difference in the amount of words used by women versus men. I did a scientific study of this one night at a restaurant by observing 3 separate couples talking to each other at their respective tables. I would have to say, from my observations, that the ratio of words, women to men, is about 50 to 2! Though a huge difference, I'm not all that surprised. I've noticed this same thing in my own husband. When he and I walk down to Doughsie Dough for bagels and coffee early in the morning, I'll start up maybe 5 or 6 conversations......and get not much in the way of response. Of course, he's not a morning person, so he's probably thinking, "will she ever shut up!" And I'm thinking, "come on Buster, it's your turn now!" Ha!, by comparison, when Ellen and I go for a 5-mile walk.....an hour and a half of non-stop talking, at the end of the walk we women STILL have to stand on the sidewalk for yet ANOTHER 15 or 20 minutes to finish....or at least come to an acceptable break in our conversation. So yeah, women can and do, WAY out-talk most men.

I have a very logical theory for this amazing discrepancy: Our buddy and friend, Mr. Titan of Talk himself, well, he sucks up all the Men-Words from all over the Lititz area. He's like a Word Vacuum Cleaner. Not all men are affected by this of course....some have strong immunities genetically built into their systems that prevent Word-Loss. But for so many men, most men in fact, our Champion of Chatter takes a big inhale and whooshes in all the "free-radical" words that area men possess. You know that giant wind storm we had last weekend? Yeah, the one that knocked down all those trees? Well, that was our very own Sultan of Spiel sucking up a boatload of sililoquy. And so, yep, I think this pretty much explains the whole thing.