There was a book that I remember reading in the early 70's called "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance". I liked it a lot, I remember that too, a kind of alternative "On the Road" sort of book, I think. Other than the fact of liking it, though, I really remember very little about it. Except for this concept....The Gumption Trap.....I remember that part well because it made so much sense.
The Gumption Trap is what happens when something goes awry and deflates your energy balloon. And sucks away your enthusiasm. You're gung-ho, ready-to-go...and then you get lost, or your car breaks down, or you're trying to fix something, you think you've got it, but you've screwed up and have to start over. Gumption Trap. Drains the energy and enthusiasm right out of you.
I like that, naming it, understanding it.... those times when things don't go right, when you have to recalibrate and regather your energy and steam.
Not knowing the language of the country you're living in is hard, everything is more of an effort. You have to plan how you're going to navigate. And you have to gather energy to make yourself try new things. It's fun also, but there are times when you definitely need Gumption.
I don't mind screwing up, it happens, I usually just roll with it using humor and a smile. But sometimes it gets old.
I've ordered food and gotten the wrong thing more than once....the chicken sandwich rather than the veggie, the wrong rolls...3 rather than two, the extra beer.
At the crepe stand the other day, I'd practiced saying what I wanted, but I didn't know the order of things. I said "kirsche crepe bitte"...cherry crepe, please. After the woman made the crepe she asked what I wanted on it (I think)....I thought I'd already said that part, got confused, and ended up with a "sugar" crepe. Not as bad as it sounds, but not cherry.
OK, you say "crepe" at the beginning and then LATER when she asks, then you get more specific and say what you want on it. OK.
I was going to get Chinese Take-Out for lunch the other day.....I KNOW this routine. Comforting. But it was Fat Tuesday and there were stands that people had brought in and set up. I told myself to eat the food brought in for the event, the Chinese food will be there tomorrow. So I go around to all the stands....all sausages....all kinds of wursts.
I started to get a "bratwurst" because I knew how to say that one and then I kicked myself, and said NO, don't get something just because you know how to say it, get what you want.
The "Rotewurst". I knew you didn't say it like "rot" as in rotten fruit. But I couldn't quite remember......rote, as in "wrote" or as in "root". Took a stab at saying it, the woman looks at me funny, stab again.....she says it....ah... wrote/root UH Vurst. Ah. Ja.
Yesterday when I got back from a little outing, I was in Konnigstrasse and needed something to eat and a milkcoffee to make it through the afternoon. The temptation is, of course, to go where you've already been and know the drill. But I don't want to get into any ruts and go somewhere just because it's easy.
Try somewhere different, it might be a new and interesting experience. Um hmm.
So I go to this little glass-surrounded stand that has outdoor seating and umbrellas with heaters on each corner. Outside but warm. I go inside the stand part, figure out what I want, practice saying it, figure out the money. I might mention here, that I've made several money mistakes also....aggravating, funny....but still. I want to get this right, dammit! I'm getting tired of screwing up.
I start to order from the man at the coffee counter and he starts to say all kinds of things I don't understand. A young woman comes over and says all kinds of things too. I'm doing something wrong....what, what?.....hmmmm.....oh, OH! I'm supposed to go outside to order out there....from the waitress. OK. Oooooo.....k.
So I whip around, flustered yet again for not getting the full scenerio....and walk straight INTO the heavy glass door. I'm leading with my NOSE and BLAM! The door rattles but does not move. Oh owowow!! My nose hurts like hell! I'm seeing stars. If I'd been in a cartoon my nose would've had littles birdies chirping around it, I would've completely flattened to that door and then slumped down into a puddle on the floor. Yosemite Sam.
Fortunately, I didn't faint and my nose didn't bleed, but I was mightily embarassed, which, I suppose, is the easiest thing to deal with. Even though, not only did I not order at the right place, but I didn't understand what they were telling me and then I run smack into the door. Oh good grief!! A total, complete and royal screw-up. It must've been hilarious to anyone watching. I bet.
My eyes wouldn't stop watering and my whole face was throbbing, from the start of my hairline down to my teeth. I could tell things were starting to swell....besides hurting, my nose felt like it was growing into a potato.
But.....I actually managed to enjoy my milkcoffee and nutella/banana crepe. I'd gotten a crepe with someting in it besides sugar, dad-gummit, so I was going to enjoy it come hell or high water.
And then the funniest thing.
This woman and her son were walking by and came over and asked me...ME??????....something....what, what....oh I get the drift. "Yes, you sit down out here and they come out and take your order." I said all this in English and pantomime but she got my drift.
And then I added, "whatever you do, do NOT go in there to order, do NOT turn around and do NOT walk into the door with your nose leading the way!!"
It's stupid, and it hurts!
OUCH!
Gumption Trap. I'm not going to be caught by the Gumption Trap. I'm not letting it get me. I'm trying a NEW coffee shop tomorrow. I am! I'll figure out first if you order inside or outside. I'll practice what I want to order. I'll figure out the money. I'll check for any walls. Or doors. I'll lead with my hands. I'm gonna get it right!
Leftover confetti from Fat Tuesday parade......
Guess what this beautiful woman's dress is made of......
This photo is everywhere.....I had been looking at it for weeks before I realized what the dress is made of. Cool!
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